


pull him back

by hippopotamus



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 13:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14426622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: “That’s my hoodie,” Isak says, when he’s close enough for Even to hear him over the sound of the rain.“You left it at mine,” Even replies, as if Isak wasn’t fully aware of that. “And you didn’t ask for it back.”





	pull him back

**Author's Note:**

> just go with it  
> its based off a prompt from one of those many lists i lost the post but credit to whoever thought of the idea

The hoodie should really make Even feel guilty. The fact that it’s still in his room when he and Isak are long since over, should make him feel awful. He should give it back.

He doesn’t want to, though. That would mean giving up his only source of comfort after the whole thing went down, and he sort of needs it.

And it’s not like he owes anything to Isak anymore. It’s not like he has to care that this is Isak’s favourite hoodie, the one he always wears when he’s tired or cold or needs a hug. It’s Isak’s fault for leaving it here, and anyway, Even doesn’t need to care about what Isak wants anymore.

There’s just something about the hoodie, with its soft cosiness and comforting smell, that brings Even such peace when he wears it, even if he just holds it. It’s probably the exact reason that this was Isak’s favourite hoodie. 

Isak hasn’t asked for it back yet, though. And Even isn’t exactly in the position to contact him, when it was Even that ended it in the first place. So - he isn’t exactly doing anything wrong when he wears it. It’s there. It’s convenient. It’s comforting.

*

It’s starting to rain when Isak sees his hoodie for the first time since he left it at Even’s.

He’d left in too much of a rush, too upset to think to grab it on his way out, and he’s wanted to go back and get it ever since - it’s just never felt like the right time to try and talk to Even again. Not after how they left things.

But when he sees his hoodie, he also sees Even underneath it, and he also sees him look back, then away, embarrassed. Whether that’s because of the way they left things or the fact that he’s wearing Isak’s _ favourite _ hoodie, Isak doesn’t know.

He’s across the street but isak can’t stop himself from going closer to confront him.

Even turns deliberately to walk in the opposite direction, but Isak follows. 

“That’s my hoodie,” he says, when he’s close enough for Even to hear him over the sound of the rain.

Even stops walking, but doesn’t turn around at first, just stills where he is and Isak can see the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathes deeply. It’s what he does when he’s nervous.

Finally, he turns, looking pointedly at the floor. “You left it at mine,” he says, as if Isak wasn’t fully aware of that. “And you didn’t ask for it back.”

Isak frowns. “We weren’t exactly talking.”

Even bows his head further down. “Okay,” he says, then glances upwards, at the sky still spitting rain, and sighs. “You need it back right now?”

It’s then that Isak notices that the hoodie is all Even has to keep him warm, and he’s pretty far from his home to walk back in just a tshirt. Isak sighs, and shakes his head. 

“I - you can keep it for now,” he says. “But can I - swing by and get it back sometime? I need - you know I need it.”

The look on Evens face is unreadable to Isak, and the rain on his cheeks closely resembles how he looked when he told Isak to leave. 

“We can meet up, or something,” Even says, and relief washes over Isak when he realises that means he won’t have to go to Even’s house. “Your number’s the same?”

Isak gives a curt nod. “Fine. See you.”

He turns and crosses the street before Even can say more. 

*

from **bby <3:** _when + where can we meet?_

Fuck. Even should really have changed his contact name earlier. The text from Isak startles him, the contact name making his heart jump up to his throat and the subsequent realisation making it plummet back again. 

He presses the hoodie to his face and inhales. He’s washed it since he used it, now that he knows Isak wants it back, but still, something of Is- of the comforting scent lingers, calms him, soothes him. He could breathe this air forever. 

to  **bby <3** :  _ kb, 3pm tomorrow? _

from  **bby <3** :  _ sounds good, can’t wait _

_ for my hoodie back. _

*

Even has his back to the door where he’s sitting at the little table in kaffebrenneriet, and he doesn’t look round or even up when Isak walks in. He’s on his phone with a coffee in front of him, and Isak soon notices the earbuds in his ears, blocking out the sound of the rest of the world. 

Isak goes to the counter before he disturbs Even, ordering a coffee, and standing to wait for it. He sneaks a glance over Evens shoulder, and immediately regrets it. 

The phone is open to messages, messages with Isak, and he’s typing out an “ _ are you here yet?” _

The reason he regrets it is that his contact name hasn’t changed from when they were together.  _ bby<3. _

It’s not fair that Even still has this much power over him. It’s not fair that he had to go and keep the stupid hoodie, the one that Isak needs because he can’t relax without being snuggled up into it, and it’s not fair that now he’s going to get it back and it’s going to smell of his ex fucking boyfriend who he still-

It’s not fair.

He grabs his coffee and sits across from Even before he has chance to send the text.

*

“Oh,” Even starts a little. “I was just about to text you.”

“I kn-” Isak seems to cut himself off. “I’m here. Hi.”

“Hi,” Even says, but can’t bring himself to say anything more. Instead, he simply looks at Isak, taking in how he looks, the tiredness in his eyes that Even remembers from the start of their relationship, but never from the end. He notices the way that Isak’s eyes look down at the coffee, flickering upwards slightly but everytime it happens his whole body tense and he refocuses on the drik in front of him. 

He remembers the hoodie in the bag under his chair, and reluctantly reaches for it. 

“Here.” 

Isak takes it with a quiet “thanks” and immediately pulls it from the bag. Even watches as he pulls it closer to his face and hugs it, as if it were a teddy or a comfort blanket. He glances back over at Even and flushes, shoving the hoodie back into the bag.

It occurs to Even that they shouldn’t have met in a coffee shop. They both have drinks in front of them and an empty silence to fill with nothing to talk about.

Or, everything to talk about, if he’s being honest. But that’s kind of difficult.

*

“I’m sorry I kept your hoodie.” 

Isak looks up at Even in surprise.

“I just - I assumed you’d tell me if you wanted it back,” he explains.

Even must understand how ridiculous that was. How could Isak have made the first move?

“You thought I would try and talk to you after you told me you didn’t want me around anymore?” Isak asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“I didn’t say-” Isak raises his eyebrow higher and Even changes his mind. “I - didn’t  _ mean _ that.”

The whole room seems to still at that statement, although the sounds around them continue. The atmosphere just - freezes. Isak freezes.

“What did you mean, then?” he asks, and Even looks away.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter,” he mumbles. “I have to go.”

Isak can’t move enough to stop him, and instead just watches him rush to the door, leaving his coffee behind him on the table, even though its in a takeout cup. He’s always been dramatic - the thought makes Isak smile a little to himself, and gives him the strength he needed to follow.

*

God, it had been such a bad idea to meet there. To sit opposite Isak, to have to look at him, to unearth all of those feelings Even thought he would successfully put an end to by breaking up with him.

The truth is, he hadn’t saved himself from feeling anything by breaking up with Isak. He hadn’t even saved himself from any pain that might come later, because it just came earlier instead. And he’s not sure he can go on fooling himself that he saved Isak from anything, either.

Mikael called him a “self-sacrificing idiot.”

It’s too late to do anything about that now.

Except, Isak is coming after him, calling his name, making him stop in his tracks and turn even against any of his better judgement.

Isak is holding both of their coffees, and holds Even’s out to him.

“You didn’t need to leave it behind just to make a point,” he says, and Even sees that half smile playing on his lips, and falls in love again.

It doesn’t matter that he never fell out of love in the first place. He still falls again. 

*

It takes Even a long time to stop staring at Isak long enough to take the coffee from his outstretched hand. And the look on his face - well, it’s the one Isak used to see so often when they were together. The one when Isak would do something simple, something that he thought was inconsequential, but something that Even would always confess just made him feel  _ warm  _ and  _ in love _ .

It’s hard to remember they aren’t together anymore when Even looks at him like that. It’s hard to remember that he was meant to be trying to get over him. 

Their fingers brush when Even finally takes the coffee, and Isak’s breath stutters.

“Thanks,” Even whispers, and Isak gets a wave of confidence.

“What  _ did  _ you mean?” he asks. “When you said you didn’t want me around anymore?”

*

Even wants to tell him the truth, really he does, but how can he say it without coming across as if he wants Isak back?

Not that he doesn’t want that, though. 

He shuts his eyes tight and looks down as he explains.

“I knew I would hurt you, if you stayed,” he says. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He sneaks a glance at Isak to see him desperately fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Even knows that look. 

“I fucking knew it,” Isak says. “Mikael told me this would happen.”

“You talked to Mikael?”

“He talked to me,” Isak corrects. “Told me I should try and talk to you again because you were being a “self-sacrificing idiot.””

Even fights a laugh at that, then frowns. “But - why didn’t you talk to me, then?”

Isak sighs. “Was I supposed to believe Mikael over you telling me you didn’t want me around?”

Even can’t bring himself to reply to this.

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Isak shrugs, looking down at his feet, confidence disappeared. “What’s done is done, or whatever.”

*

Even doesn’t let him turn away. There’s a hand on his arm stopping him from leaving, and shivers running up and down his whole body.

“I’m sorry,” Even says. “Mikael was right.”

“Yeah,” Isak huffs a laugh. “I know.”

There’s silence between them for a moment, until Isak finds more courage to say more words. 

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me make my own decisions about that,” he says. “Or, I mean, respect the decision I already made. I wanted - I want to be with you, even if there’s a risk of getting hurt.”

Even takes in a sharp breath. “‘Want?’”

Isak chokes out a “y-yeah. Want.”

*

“I mean,” Isak continues, staring at the floor. “If you’d - never mind.”

He moves to turn, and Even does the only thing he can think, to pull him back and pull him in close, nearly spilling both their coffees.

“You really want that? To be with me?”

There’s a smile growing on Isak’s face now as he rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say it? Yes. I want to be with you.”

Even takes a deep breath, building himself up for his next words. 

“Can we try again?”

Isak nods, smiling wider than Even’s seen in a long time.

*

Even kisses Isak, and Isak lets himself be kissed.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 reading love u long time  
> [tumblr](http://evenshands.tumblr.com)  
> love always xxx


End file.
